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  • Writer's pictureAsia L Garrison

TIRED BLACK CHRISTIAN

Updated: Nov 30, 2020

Hey ladies! This week I plan on sharing my heart with you. This week I plan on being transparent, honest, and raw. I try to be that every week but this week may look different because I don’t have a full solution. Usually, I share openly and I have a solution to whatever I’m sharing about. This week not so much.

For a week I’ve been angry. As a Christian I’m angry. As a Black woman I’m angry. As a daughter I’m angry. As a sister I’m angry. As a sister-in-law, I’m angry. As a “TeTe” I’m angry. As a God mother I’m angry. As a cousin I’m angry. As a friend I’m angry. As a Christian Black woman I AM PISSED!

My outrage comes from many things.

  1. The constant and on going murders of Black men

  2. Silence from certain churches

  3. Lack of concern from White "Christians"

  4. Racism

  5. Systematic Oppression

  6. The value of property over Black Lives

  7. "ALL LIVES MATTER"

  8. White Supremacist

And the list goes on. I’m to the point of numbness and I never want to be numb! I’m exhausted of constantly defending Black people. I’m tired of logging on to social media and seeing Black men being killed. It reminds me of how normal it was for Whites to watch lynchings of Black men. How they would gather around in groups and stand there and watch a Black man being killed and burned. It was a normal thing during Slavery. It was normal to watch lynchings of Black men. We cannot normalize and broadcast the killings of Black people.

I remember crying when I found out George Zimmerman was not convicted when he Murdered Trayvon Martin, February 26th, 2012. At 17 I knew it was time to no longer be silent, I knew this would be a conversation I have for the rest of my life.

I remember watching Darren Wilson, Mike Browns, killer go on national TV and say that he would do it again and not change anything!

As a Christian we are to forgive, we are to love, we are to share the gospel, we are to be examples of Christ Jesus. I live by that and try my best to practice it every day of my life. I ask God to create a clean heart in me everyday. God is my witness that I love ALL his people and I will dedicate the rest of my life to expanding his Kingdom!

My mission is the Kingdom but another mission is Black people. I’m a Black woman, raised by two Black parents. I love my people! I take pride in being a Black Woman and I take pride in advocating for the rights of Black people. I take pride in celebrating the work my Ancestors did. I take pride in knowing that I come from a blood line of Kings and Queens! I take pride in being part of the strongest race that stands tall no matter what is thrown our way! I take pride in being Black! The culture, the food, the music, the love, everything about being Black is amazing!


I sit back and think how my ancestors fought for us to have what some would consider “bare minimum” I take pride in that because as a Christian that’s my duty right? But it’s not just Black Christians job to fight for our rights it’s every person who says that Jesus is their Lord and Savior to stand up and fight for the rights of Blacks!

Fighting for rights looks different.

Some will: protest, write letters, run for office, vote, volunteer, do admin work, donate, have small groups, or be in the front line some way. Whatever works best for you or whatever God is calling you to do, DO IT!


Right now my heart hurts so bad and I’m stuck between my heart hurting and being a believer and knowing God will heal my heart and praying to him that he heals our land. I’m stuck with I’m a Christian that’s so MAD AND ANGRY but still filtering my emotions through Christ and expressing them in a way that glorifies God. I’m stuck between wanting to explode but knowing that God says vengeance is his! I’m stuck between mourning with the unsaved but what about the saved? What about the believers who are as angry, hurt, and pissed as everyone else? What do we do? Honestly, I can’t even say how things would be if this was my brother......I can't say what I would not do........ I can’t promise anything. I’m at a boiling point with non relatives. I’m at a boiling point with not knowing any of these Black men but having a commonality, our Blackness.

In 1 Corinthians Paul talks about the Body of Christ and how the body has many parts! If one part of the body is suffering then ALL parts suffer. There’s a major part of the body of Christ suffering, Black people. We are hurting and suffering. We are tired and exhausted. You cannot consider yourself to be apart of the body of Christ or a Christian and ignore what’s happening!

“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:26‬ ‭NLT‬‬


“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:8-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬


I want to speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves!! I see so many Black people on the front lines hurting. I want and will be there for them. The saved and unsaved! Those who believe in Jesus and those who don’t. I’ll be there! I’ll be there for you guys. Because I’m apart of the Black Community! I don’t have the direct answer right now. But whatever needs to be done I’m down! If we need to hold the Black dollar? I’m down! If we need to organize more meetings? I’m down! If donations are needed? I’m down! If milk is needed for the protesters eyes? Let me know where to drop it off! Because I believe that fighting for justice is what Jesus would do! I believe that when we fight for justice we glorify God. Fighting for justice is NOT sin! RACISM IS SIN! Racism brings out hatred. The root of everything that’s happening right now is racism and that spirit will and has to bow down to Jesus!


Moving forward I will be in prayer. Because prayer fuels me! Prayer calms me! Prayer allows me to get direct instruction from God the king of Justice! The king or my heart! The King who loves Black men more than I could ever! I want to get instruction from him. I also pray to make sure my heart stays clean. Because everyone walking this earth deserves redemption! But redemption is a choice and not everyone will make that choice.


In conclusion,


Standing up for Black people is our job and duty as Christians. If you’re turning your eye to the injustices of Black people you are not doing your duty as a Christian. In order for us to come together one has to repent, listen, and advocate! I am a Black woman who will dedicate her life and existence to fighting for the rights for Black people. It is my JOB and DUTY as a believer in Christ Jesus. I will NOT be silent. I will fight this fight in prayer, I will fight this fight with my dollar, I will fight this fight by electing people who support Blacks and I will fight this fight by welcoming Ally’s to join us. This indeed is a spiritual issue and a demonic attack towards Blacks. RACISM IS NOT OF God!!!!!!!!!! Oppressing a group of people for 400+ years is not of God!!!!!! To every woman who is hurting right now because they are scared for their black husband, black children, black father, black brother, black cousin, black friends, and all the Black men we don’t know- I’m here with you and we are in this together. I love you guys!


Asia Garrison



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