Hey Queens! I am thrilled and also a tad bit nervous about this post. I’m excited that I get to write about a new topic but I am also a little nervous because I’m touching on a subject that I’ve spoken about but had never experienced. For so long I never knew what it felt like to have a broken heart. I had seen my friends for years deal with broken hearts but I had never experienced it for myself. It wasn’t until I actually had my first heartbreak at 22 that I was completely able to understand the pain my friends had describe to me. I was able to understand the pain that resulted in women becoming bitter, holding un-forgiveness in their heart and feeling like God had left them. It was the pain that if not properly treated could be the downfall in your next relationship and your overall view of relationships.
So to all my friends, I’m sorry for downplaying your pain. I’m sorry for just thinking you were in “your feelings” or that you were “tripping.” Nah, sis that pain was real and what you were feeling was real!
NOW lets get to it!
I think heartbreak is a feeling that is different for everyone. Each person experiences a different level of pain because every relationship is different. Your pain could be the result of a long term relationship that ended, an abusive relationship (mentally, physically and emotionally), cheating, you loving someone who did not love you in the same way or it could be a decision that you made that you regret. Each scenario is different and can bring a different level of pain.
I aint here to give you a 1+1= 2 formula on how to get over your heartbreak. I’m here to encourage you and give you some tips that helped me and are still helping me!
The first thing I had to do was:
PRAY- I know this might seem cliché but y’all prayer helps so much. Now, I aint gone lie it was a lot of times I felt I was talking to myself because I was praying so much. I did not just pray for my heart I prayed for his heart. I prayed that God would help him become the man he called him to be and I prayed that God would only give me eyes for who HE has. Praying for him helped so much because it allowed me to not be bitter. Prayer softens your heart and closes the door for bitterness to creep in.
VENT VENT VENT- Y’all talk to somebody. If it was not for my roomy Keyontae and a few of my other sisters I would have been a HOT MESS! I loved being able to talk to them whenever I felt some type of way. It would be times I would talk to Keyontae 3-4x a day and she was there! She allowed me to feel how I wanted to. She never rushed my process but kept me encouraged and reminded me that my feelings were okay! It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be hurt, it’s okay to be angry but it IS NEVER okay to stay that way! My village helped me get through what I was feeling… So support is important!
TIME- Understand that this won’t happen overnight. Your feelings did not magically happen overnight therefore you getting over him won’t be an overnight thing. Give yourself grace. It’s okay if its taking longer than you would like. Everyday is progression.
CHASE PURPOSE- Finally, the most important thing is what are you after? If you are trying to get over him sis you can’t be chasing what he doing. You can’t be focused on who he with (I know it’s hard) what he posting (I know it's hard) and who he is entertaining! You have to be chasing your purpose! Be so consumed in what God has called you to do that you don’t even have time to look up to see what he is doing. Be so consumed with God that you are only open to who HE has for you!
There is so much more I want to say! So much more I want to go in to detail about but I’ll make a video about it so we can go deeper. I just wanted to touch the surface and encourage anyone out there with a broken heart! You will get through this sis. I’ve been there and I know how it feels.
Always remember if it’s meant to be it will be. You won’t have to force it or him. You won’t be confused. You will know when God is ready to make his presentation. Instead, accept the season God has you in and open your heart to receive whoever God has for you!
A few scriptures to meditate on:
Psalms 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”
Psalms 55:22 “Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the Godly to slip and fall.”
Matthew 11:29 “Take my yoke upon you. Et me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls”
God is working and he loves you sis.
Have a fantastic week